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Monday, April 30, 2007

Break Ups: Overcoming The Pain

To be in a seemingly loving relationship one minute and then thrust back into ‘singledom’ the next minute can be too much for some people – and who’d blame them? Relationship break ups can happen for so many reasons including infidelity, jealousy, anger issues and sometimes just boredom. Some people take it really well when they get dumped and some don’t. Some find it hard to understand why the relationship deteriorated in the first place and may not have thought that there where any problems that were affecting the relationship in such a negative way. People that find breakups difficult can often feel isolated and lonely in their grief. It can really deal blow to their confidence and to their self esteem.

If you have been through a bad break up or are going through one now, you will be able to understand the pain and anguish that a person in that position would go through. Sleepless nights, the feeling of worthlessness and the constant ‘what if’s’ running through your mind are all things that you can empathize with. For some people it is almost the same as being bereaved as you have lost your lover and your relationship. It may be really hard to think about the future in a positive way as every time that you do you just think about your life without your lover. It can truly feel like a downward spiral that is just sucking you further and further into despair.

So if you are going through this kind of situation at the moment and you find yourself finding it hard to cope with what’s going on – don’t despair as you can get over this. As a hypnotherapist I help countless numbers of individual’s trough tough relationship splits via my products and in my private clinic. Hypnosis is so successful as it simply reprograms the part of your brain that is making you feel so bad at the moment. We refer to this part as being your sub-conscious mind and it is the part of your mind that holds all of your beliefs, habits and behaviours, so it is a great place to start.

If you are serious about using hypnosis to successfully get over your break up and loss, then I would recommend that you start off by trying a hypnosis download or recording. Listen to it and relax with it – just allowing it to do all of the work for you. I wish you the best of luck and success.

About the Author:

Deal with your break ups with Richard's breakups hypnosis download.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tips For Getting Over A Break-up

Going through a break up can be a massively difficult time for some people. On occasion’s confusion, anger, resentment and a whole range of negative emotions can be present in the person that is suffering at the hands of a nasty break-up. If you are suffering from a bad split at the moment from your partner then you will understand just how bad it can feel. I have put this article together for you to help you through this difficult time and to make things a bit easier for you. I successfully help hundreds of people in your situation either through my one to one session or through my products. Generally I use hypnosis with each client, however to help you today I have listed some of my tips that I give to clients below. I hope that you use them and see the benefit sometime soon. Good luck and I wish you the best of success.

1. Get a friend over and talk it through… You will be amazed just how different you will feel once you have got things off your chest. Maybe invite a non-judgmental friend over for a glass of wine or two and talk it through. This will really help you to clear the confusion from the whole situation.

2. Weigh up the relationship… Remember the good times and the bad times. Think as though it was a great novel and that you are writing the conclusion. You are creating what memories you want to keep from this relationship before you move on. Everybody has great things in their lives that come to an end and this is possibly yours. See the good times you had and what things that you learnt that you can take into other future relationships to make them fantastic.

3. Look into the future… Look forward and think about meeting friends for coffee or going on a shopping spree. Maybe even book a holiday with a few friends just to give you something to look forward too – even if it is in a few months!

4. Meet the new you… Over the course of any relationship we change as a relationship is a ‘give and take’ situation. Take the time to understand how you have changed as an individual. Take the time to get to know you again. There may be things that you haven’t done in a while that you love to do as it was something that your ex didn’t share your passion for.

I hope that you have enjoyed these tips and put them to good use to deal with your situation. Again I wish you the best of success.

About the Author:

For help with break ups and for Richard's breakups MP3 download, please check his site.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Getting An Ex Girlfriend Back

Do you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back? If you still love your ex girlfriend, but you don't know how to win back her love, read these simple tips:

- Create some space between yourself and your ex girlfriend. Stop all phone calls, text messages and emails.

- After some time, invite your ex girlfriend to talk to you. Ask if she'd like to do something non-committal, like have a drink with you. Express regret things weren't working out between you.

- Respect her decisions. If she is seeing someone else, do not sabotage her relationship in any way.

- Don't mention things you do or have done for her. She won't forget them, don't worry. If you mention them to her, you are making them worthless.

- Buy her gifts. They don't have to be expensive. Sometimes flowers alone are not enough. Buy her something unique and romantic. However, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, don't rely on buying gifts only. Prove that you really love her and are not simply lusting for her.

- Make your ex girlfriend jealous. Pretend to be happy and look like you have completely forgotten about her. Flirt with everybody - there is nothing better than having fun, when she expects you to be down in the dumps. So, have fun.

- Avoid rebound relationships and one-night stands. This won't make your ex-girlfriend jealous, or jealous enough, to come back.

- Be patient. It may take a while for her to realize what she lost. Also, try to be a better person. When she sees that the change is genuine and that it is there to last, she will start to open up her heart once again. She fell for you once - try to remember what she fell for and then reinforce those characteristics again.

About the Author:

Get more information at: http://www.getyourexback.info/winbackexgirlfriend.html

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Breakups : How To Get Over Relationship Break Ups

Are you at the end of a relationship and finding it hard to come to terms with your loss? Are you finding it hard to understand why your relationship has come to the end in the way that it did? Are you feeling that this may be something that you just can’t get over? Do you just want the pain and anguish to go away so that you can heal and start over again? If you are experiencing a bad relationship break up then you can certainly understand the negative impact that it can have on your emotions and also the feelings of the people that love and look out for you.

In my career as a hypnotherapist I have helped hundreds of individuals with soothing that pain and hurt that comes from hard relationship break-ups. Some people that I have seen see it as the end of their world and in the first instance find it very hard to move on, put it behind them and get on with their life. For them this is a real pain that is not even comparable to the worst kind of physical pain. If you are suffering in this situation right now then I want to offer a message of hope and say that how ever hard it is to believe right now, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there.

With the clients that I help, I use hypnosis, this is done on a one to one bases or through my hypnosis download for break ups. Hypnosis basically works to reprogram the part of the brain that we call the sub or un-conscious mind. It is the sub-conscious mind that holds all of our thoughts, beliefs, memories, behaviours and habits, so it is a great place to start to deal with the negative impact of your break-up. By soothing the pain and other emotions related to break ups you can then start to look at your situation differently – in another light. This allows you to make decision about your future with more clarity.

If you are serious about getting over the pain and discomfort of a relationship break up then I wish you the best of luck and success. I suggest that you start with a hypnosis recording or download or even look up your local hypnotherapist to seek their help.

I really wish you the best of success in this and remember – this is not the end of the world – you are strong enough to beat this.

About the Author:

Richard is an expert in helping people through break ups. Try his hypnosis download for breakups today!

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Does Any Other Loss Equal Loss Of Love

Have you loved and had the devastating experience of your beloved leaving you? Have you felt the pain? Does any other pain come nearer to it? Yes, the pain of losing someone by death may come near to that. But even that is not comparable. By death, you lose your sweetheart forever and know that she/he is no longer in this world. But if he/she leaves you, you experience the shock that is unsurpassed. You know that your beloved is in this world itself, but you have no strength to find out where? You have no strength to meet and find out the reason for the betrayal. You get so numbed with the shock, that you can take no more pain. So you are left to live with that pain yourself. And that life is nothing but death at every moment.

When I cry for my beloved, the tears that I shed are more precious than heavenly pearls, says the poet in me. Yes, one cries, and one finds no one to share that cry. If you talk to people around you about the break down you are facing, they will probably call you a fool for grieving. After sometime, you stop talking to anyone about your pain. That keeps the pain inside you. That kills you slowly, but surely.

Can one overcome this? Very difficult. The very fact that you fell in love that submerged you tells about your personality. Such personalities that give themselves totally away, find it very difficult to bear the loss of love. Snatch a child away from the mother and measure the pain of the mother, you will find out what I am talking about. Why does the mother grieve so much? Because she carried the child in her womb for nine months, she cared for the child after birth, she kept awake for her child for endless nights and she dreamt for her child at all the times. The child was an extension of her own personality. The loss therefore becomes unbearable.

In the same way, those who love deeply, love their beloved like their own child. They care for the beloved like their own extension. Their love and their beloved become an essential part of their personality. Therefore, when that love walks out, the grief is immense and the loss immeasurable. What is to be done? No one can say about this. It all depends on the personality.If that person can somehow continue working towards a useful goal, while keeping the pain all the time inside the heart, life can be carried on for some time. But ultimately that pain of separation will engulf the person.

About the Author:

The author C.D.Mohatta writes content on topics like motivation, romance, life, work, career etc. in screensavers, wallpapers and ecards. His work is in websites like http://www.ecarduniverse.com, http://www.inspirationecards.com, http://www.valentinesday-cards.com etc.

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Sunday, April 15, 2007

How To Forget The Past Relationship

The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else.

What happens after a break up?

This depends largely upon the intensity of the earlier relationship. More intense the love, more hurt will result after the break up. And if your break up took place because of unfaithfulness of your partner, it will hurt you still more. The memories of time shared will haunt forever. A look at something shared will bring in an avalanche of past memories and will take away your peace in a moment. The past can be very destructive. It kills the person, it kills the present and the future. It can haunt one forever.

How to come out of it?

There are no easy ways out of this. Some of us will never come out of the grief for our lifetime. One method that can help is this. Imagine a reservoir of emotions. Imagine of many reservoirs. In one, you have your longing for the one you lost. In another you store your memories of good times. In yet another you have stored pain that you are suffering from. In this manner imagine of many reservoirs. Till they are emptied, you will not become new. Am i right? What is to be done? Please empty them out. It will take time, in some cases many years, but you can empty them if you really want. Live through all your longing again and empty that reservoir. Similarly cry as much as you can and fell the hurt the lost love has given you. Experience everything fully, suffer from all the pain and try to empty out all that is in your heart.

This is very painful. But if you want to live again, please do this. Many of us hide our hurt, avoid thinking about the good moments shared together and in all possible ways try to be so busy that the feelings don't come out at all. But the feelings are very much there inside eating away our vitals. These feelings will never allow you to move forward in a positive way. Please remove everything from the mind and the heart by reliving and go forward. You may no longer feel the hurt and the pain with the same intensity, but it will be very difficult to fall in love with another person again with the earlier intensity. Please accept this fact. Your beloved you left you has taken away something very vital from you - your faith in goodness of human beings. But after emptying out totally, you will at least be come a normal person, who can carry on life if not like a robot, than like a person without any feelings.

About the Author:

The author C.D.Mohatta writes content on topics like motivation, romance, life, work, career etc. in screensavers, wallpapers and ecards. His work is in websites like http://www.screene.com, http://www.ecarduniverse.com, http://www.inspirationecards.com etc.

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Friday, April 6, 2007

Break Up & Divorce: Should You Condemn Yourself To A Bad Relationship Because Of Religion And Guilt?

If you're in a bad marriage and are really unhappy, should you separate, get a divorce, or stay in the marriage?

This is not a cut and dry decision as there are many factors to consider. We're about to step outside the box and ask you to question beliefs that you may have never thought to question before. In other words, have an open mind as you read the rest of this article.

Background - Is this a bad relationship?

Imagine the following scenario...

I was married for twelve years to a man (S) that deserted me twice. He also had numerous extra-marital infidelities. He took his stuff and left this last time about a year and a half ago. I tried and tried to talk to him but he refused to talk to me or answer my phone calls. I was just heartbroken. He was my second husband. My first husband wasn't unfaithful, but he had an explosive temper and shouted and screamed at me. And even though he never actually hit me, I was afraid of him.

Anyway, seven months after my second husband left me I decided to try and move on with my life. I met a wonderful man (D). He was everything I had wanted - Caring, responsible, trustful and very loving. We started slowly, but after awhile I fell deeply in love with him. And he fell in love with me.

I hired an attorney. I filed for divorce. After I had been with D for around four months he proposed to me. I was very excited and accepted. I knew our relationship was perfect and we had a wonderful life ahead of us. We were doing everything together and I was so happy.

S somehow found out and started to phone me. He told me he wanted us to get back together. He told me he would never do any of the things he had done to me before. He said he had found God and was going to church now. He said that he was a changed man. He said I was still his wife and I owed him another chance to prove he had changed. He told me he was a broken man and was thinking about suicide. I finally allowed him to see me he cried and cried and pleaded with me telling me he had changed. I felt so guilty .

Should she take her husband back or stay with her new found love? What would you do?

Love and Fear

While this is a very emotional situation, you should not allow yourself to feel guilty about anything another person does or experiences. They make their own choices in life and their experiences are their own. Be understanding and empathize with the other person, but never, ever, make yourself responsible for what another person is experiencing.

You can control how you behave and respond to a situation, but that is where your control ends. Never let another person make you feel guilty . There is no right or wrong choice in life because we grow from each experience - some choices just work better for us than others. Even the ones that didn't work out quite like you hoped provide the opportunity to grow.

Sometimes the best way to figure out what we want is to experience what we don't want. Try to learn from past experiences so that you don't keep repeating them over and over. The Universe, or God, seems to keep sending you the same situation or experience until you learn the lesson that you need to learn from that specific experience. In other words, patterns keep repeating until you get it right.

Our emotional scale has two extremes - love and fear. In every situation - ask yourself if you're acting out of love or fear, and always try to act out of love. Now that doesn't mean letting someone walk all over you... You need to make decisions that feel right in your heart, in the core of your being, in your gut, however you want to explain it. Just make sure that you're not making your decisions out of fear, anger, guilt, jealousy, revenge or any other negative emotion.

Others may react to your decisions with a negative emotion, but remember what I said in the beginning - You can only control your responses, not theirs. If another person chooses to respond to something you do with a negative emotion, that's their decision and you can't control what they do. You can only accept their reaction with love and understanding.

Make your life decisions based on what feels right for you. Many, but not all, will disagree with me, but the only person that you are ultimately responsible for in this life is you. Others come and go from your life so that you can further the experience of life, but you come into this life on your own and you leave on your own, so make sure that while your here you take care of YOU.

Religion and Guilt

When you choose to get advice from a religious counselor, remember that he is bound by the rules and regulations of whichever religion he chooses to follow. And those rules and regulations are not always based on love, but may also be based on control and trying to make the followers act and behave in a manner the religion deems appropriate.

Forgiveness, however, is the most powerful tool that you have in this life. I believe there's a quote that goes something like... "Forgiveness is God's gift to the forgiver, not the forgiven" - something like that. It's very true because when you forgive someone you let go of all the negative emotions around that situation whether or not the other person even knows that you forgave them.

This may sound harsh, but I would ditch the church counselor. He does not necessarily have your best interest in mind. His main concern is that you follow the rules of the church, whether you're happy or not. And I believe that we are all here to experience happiness.

The doctrine of misery is fabricated by modern organized religion. They tell us that we have to suffer to be good people. Have you really read the Bible? I can't find anywhere in the Bible that says we need to be miserable to be good people.

My interpretation of Jesus' teachings and the Bible is that we should love and accept everyone and every experience that comes into our life unconditionally because life is perfection.

Sure, modern religion misquotes many specific passages in the Bible which have been translated by many different writers with many different perceptions through many different languages over thousands of years - and then tells us to follow their rules or go to Hell. I believe that Hell is defined by the self perpetrated misery that many people put themselves through each and every day.

"Hell is what we experience when we are not true to ourselves."

We don't need religion to tell us what is right and wrong. As long as you come from a place of love and acceptance, you'll always make the right decisions. I've never known a truly spiritual person who judges or condemns another person. Why would an all powerful God need to judge us - that would be like us judging the actions of ant in an anthill on a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean ... OK, enough ranting on modern religion...

In Summary

If you find yourself in a similar situation,

-- Follow your heart and do what you feel to be right.

-- Stop listening to other people who are not on your path. You've heard the old saying to walk a mile in another's shoes before judging them. Well, the fact is that no one has walked in your shoes and they have no right to tell you what is right or wrong for you.

-- Stop repeating old patterns and stop punishing yourself for things that others perceive to be wrong. Follow your heart and your passions. Only then will you truly be happy.

-- It is not your responsibility to make anyone else happy, but it IS your responsibility to make yourself happy.

About the Author:

Get your questions answered at www.AskDanAndJennifer.com. - Dating, Relationships, Love, and Great Sex. Articles, Videos, Tips, and Advice.

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Thursday, April 5, 2007

Sadness Of Love

Click any website that talks of sadness of love. You will get moist eyes after some time. The quotes of some people about the sadness they feel after losing love are very emotionally shattering. Why should love bring so much sadness? When a loved one leaves for some one else, why do most of us feel devastated? For many of us it is an earth shaking experience. What was pure pleasure turns into absolute pain that is unbearable.

Why does lost love bring so much sadness? A lover cries her/his eyes dry with sadness, but the sadness does not go away. The more one tries to avoid thinking of the lost love, the more memories come back. Every spot where you shared something, every road where you walked together, every incident that you shared, they all become deep wounds that never heal. They take away the essence of living. They leave one lost forever in sadness with a loneliness that refuses to go away.

What do the people who leave their lover think after leaving? I have no clue to that. But I know one fact. Such brutes try to justify their action in many ways. This is their way of telling their own conscience that what they did was correct. Though they justify in many ways, I wonder if they ever are satisfied with their own explanations? One great advantage such people who leave a life sad is - They depart after giving so much pain that the one who is left has no desire or energy to go back to them and ask- Why? To meet one's lost love again may become very frightening because of the pain given before. One may begin perspiring at the very thought.

After knowing about this sadness, I can only say that one feels that death is better than to live with such sadness. Life becomes impossible. As there is no way to punish the brutes who leave a life shattered, the only prayer one can make is - God, please let her/him know about what she/he did. Please ask her/him to repent and come back.

About the Author:

The author C.D.Mohatta writes content on topics like motivation, romance, life, work, career etc. in screensavers, wallpapers and ecards. His work is in websites like http://www.screene.com, http://www.ecarduniverse.com, http://www.inspirationecards.com etc.

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Monday, April 2, 2007

10 Signs You Are Getting Dumped

Is your relationship on the rocks? Having some trouble decoding those hidden messages your partner is giving you. Here are 10 signs you are on your way out the door. We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but somebody had to do it.

1. Your significant other's (SO) friends start acting distant towards you. If there is a sudden change in their attitude towards you then that is a pretty good clue they know something you don't know.

2. Your SO doesn't listen to you. And, when I say doesn't listen you, I really mean hardly ever listens to you(everyone has days when they aren't the best listeners). Generally, this becomes clear when you are trying to remind them of what you said and they have no idea what you are talking about.

3. Your SO is suddenly busy all of the time. If they truly cared they would be making time for you!

4. Lies, even small ones. Oftentimes this means they are starting a web of lies to cover up the one thing the do not want you to know about.

5. Your SO keeps you waiting. It doesn't even matter in what sense. From decisions on plans, to running late for a date, to not calling when they said they would.

6. A good old pat on the pack. According to many behavioral psychologist a pat on the back during a hug is a sign of uneasiness.

7. Your SO picking silly fights. Like you putting the seat down again or chewing your gum to loud. Picking minor fights is a sign of emotional distress in a relationship.

8. Your SO avoids talking about the future, even the immediate future, like plans for next Tuesday.

9. There is a dramatic change in your SO's sexual behavior. While it could be a sign of outside stress, more often than not it is a sign you are about to get the old heave ho.

10. Any sentence starting with "we need to talk" or "it's not you its me" pretty much means you should be packing the suitcase and moving on.

This list is not all inclusive, but it will hopefully help you decode some mysterious behavior.

About the Author:

James Ayer is a contributing writer at http://www.freelovemd.com. A free relationship advice website. Stop by and check out articles and discussion on love, dating, and your relationship.

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Sunday, April 1, 2007

Surviving Heartbreak Hell

It's been months since your breakup but you're still stuck in bed grieving over your lost love. You couldn't eat (or stop eating), sleep or work because he's all you could ever think of. You keep repeating your heartbreak mantra, "Why did he leave me...what did I do?" as you succumb to a series of hysterical crying fits. You’re officially a victim of a broken heart.

So how do you smart from a brush-off? Here are some tips to help you survive heartbreak hell.

1. Lose it

Moan. Sob. Let it all hang out. Rid yourself of all-consuming anger and vent every ounce of vitriol in your system. Allow yourself a good wallow. Take a pillow and pretend it was him and do everything with it the way you'd want to get back at him. Throw all his letters and photos away. Call your friends and tell them your heartaches for the 20th time. Grieve your heart out on a guy who was no better than a rotten carcass.

2. Accept what you can't change

So, it's over. This may be hard to swallow but the reality is it's all over and there's nothing you can do about it. You are left without a choice but to believe and accept it. Remember, acceptance is the key to healing.

3. Work It Out

Put your positive attitude at work and head to the gym for some 30-minute work out a day. Exercise won't only sweep the mopey mood away but it will also make you feel and look good as it helps pump out endorphins, the body's natural chemicals that make you feel strong and oozing with sex appeal.

4. Aromatherapy for the heart

Aromatherapy is believed to lift depression and soothe irritable nerves. If you haven't tried it, you should try it now as it works wonders not just to your body but also to your mind and spirit. Here's a quick recipe: Fill a 10-ounce bottle of organic vegetable oil with 9 drops of lavender oil, 15 drops of sandalwood oil, 4 drops of rose essential oil and 10 drops of warm water. Dispense 10 drops of the mixture to a warm bath and you're ready to soak!

5. Put a front if necessary

You may still be experiencing emotional turmoil inside but if you stay confined within the four walls of your room chances are you'll feel even more miserable. Get out and show the world that you're not an emotional wreck. Crack a smile and flash those pearly whites. At first, you may find it awkward putting on a face but soon enough you'd become so good at it you'd be doing it for real, without even noticing it yourself.

6. Adopt a pet

Need some lovin'? Get a pet. Pets aren't only cuddly and affectionate but are also a good diversion of your time and focus. Sure you crave human affection but unlike humans, your pet can't talk so the chances of getting yourself hurt are slim, at least not emotionally.

7. Close the door

Don't be a fool for love. If he keeps calling you to ask for another chance or to tell you that he has someone new but wants to stay as friends, don't bite. You won't only be allowing yourself to fall in love with him again but you're also making yourself believe subconsciously that there's something left in him for you when the truth is, there's none. False hopes mean nothing but emotional boo-boos.

8. Get busy

Discover things you love to do that you weren't able to explore because he didn't approve of them when you were still together. Schedule night-outs with friends and engage in activities you haven't done before. With so many things to occupy your mind, you'd be so busy to even think about your heartbreak.

9. Move on

An end of a relationship doesn't mean an end of you. You don't need a man to make you feel like a real woman. If he can't see what's beautiful and special about you, what kind of man is he? Not someone worth your time, it's clear. Not someone who deserves you either.

Breakups can be very painful and tormenting. Sometimes, it even makes us feel like dying. Funny how we feel so hedonistically wonderful when we are in love then end up feeling gruesomely dreadful after a breakup. Nevertheless, it's a risk that we all have to take. While there's promise in loving, there are no guarantees. So live and love. Get hurt and love again. After all, there's no joy without pain and no bliss without hell.

© 2005 Rachelle Arlin Credo. All rights reserved.

About the Author:

Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in various magazines and online publications. For more info, visit her website at http://www.rachelle.co.nr

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